You Don’t Get What You Don’t Ask For – Part 1

Posted on April 4, 2012

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After an unbelievably busy day, you decide to get takeaway , with the entire brood in tow ofcourse . Everyone is tired and hungry. You queue up ,  buy everyone’s favourite meals while the brood waits impatiently at a table nearby.You bring some food back FINALLY  and everyone tucks in.

What happens next is something that has happened to everyone. If this hasn’t ever happened to you , I’m sorry to be the one  breaking this to you but you don’t meet the criteria for normal. Trust me , you don’t ! Now that we have established the norms around normalcy , lets go back to the food . So everyone begins eating , there is an eerie air of silence around the table , the kind you usually associate with extremely hungry people.The brood is happy , you think as you take another bite of your fish burger and just then you hear a voice , to ” But where’s the sauce  ?” . You look up to see one of the brood ( usually an adult ) , pale faced and visibly upset .

You adopt an innocent and quizzical expression and say , ” Sauce ?” , hoping to pull it off. An interesting dialogue ensues :

” Yeah like tomato sauce , ketchup ? ” says the partner/child/sibling you are willing to disown right now , infact lets name them Disownable Family Member (DFM) for the purpose of this post.

You : ” I’m so sorry darling , I completely forgot . Can we do without sauce this time ? Look at the queue up there and we need to get home , there is ______________ ( insert relevant activities here) to do still”

DFM : ” This time ? THIS TIME ? , You always forget the sauce !”

DFM holds his/her head in disgust .

You feel a range of emotions from despair to anger to helplessness to feeling misunderstood but in the end , the more rational ( read ravenously hungry ) side wins and you continue to eat your meal which is now bordering on cold and stale , hoping that DFM will let it go this time.

But DFM is adamant , sauce or nothing !

You think , Why can’t DFM go and get it themselves . Dreading DFM’s wrath for what could seem like an eternity , you begrudgingly get up and walk over to the front counter , mentally willing the teenager at the checkout counter to be nice to you . You were tired , hungry,  frustrated and sauceless, the least you can expect is that a stranger be nice to you.After a painful 5 minute wait , it was finally your turn . The young girl smiled , ” What can I get you ?” , you mumble ( internally cursing the day DFM was born ) , ” umuuumum could I please umm get some umm tomato sauce” , ” Pardon me sir , I didn’t quite get that ” she says . ” Could I please have some tomato sauce ? ” you manage swiftly this time , somehow.

The girl breaks into a peal of laughter and you feel like a fool , 30 something , standing in a takeaway queue , asking for tomato sauce , How did life get so pear shaped   , ” Oh tomato sauce,ofcourse ! ” She bends down and brings out what looks like 10 sachets of tomato sauce , TEN ! You thank the girl profusely and walk back to your table enveloped in a strange sense of elation. You proudly plonk the tomato sauce sachets in DFM’s face who then has the audacity to patronise ,” See ! You don’t get what you don’t ask for “

You want to yell ” argh , if you knew that , why didn’t you get off your bottom and go get them youself ” , but wisdom prevails and you hold your peace…for now.

( Told you it was going to be the flag bearer of normal , if God forbid this hasn’t happened to you before , you have definitely done it to someone . Either way , this is normal )

Stay Tuned for Part 2 , which is being penned right now and is turning out to be a serious and thought provoking post on the same theme.

Image Courtesy : http://www.jjfoodservice.com/product.cfm/Heinz%20Tomato%20Ketchup%20Sachets-1×200/SAU070

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